This Is Not Co-Parenting

 I always envisioned a life of co-parenting consisting of mutual agreements when it comes to rearing, disciplining, and things of that sort. That is not to say that we will or must agree on every issue. I feel like in order to effectively raise a child the parents must be somewhat willing to be on the same page, listen and incorporate different child rearing methods. You must be involved in the child's day to day life even if she isn't under your primary care.

I never imagined, though, that I'd be in a position to receive so much pushback and non participation when it comes to different issues surrounding our daughter. The way that my daughter's father and I co-parent is not even co-parenting at all. He'd rather do things his way on his own.

He feels that doing fun things, getting her on the weekends, preparing her a space in his own house, and buying her clothes is co-parenting... THIS IS NOT CO-PARENTING!

Why am I declaring this now? Well, I'm kind of frustrated with and find it unacceptable to have to navigate this parenting alone. Which to me is the real definition of single motherhood. Yeah we can attribute the "single" to a mother's marital status, but let's be real. When we say single in regards to parenting we not only mean in regards to marital status, but in simply physically and/or financially caring for your kids.

Example: My daughter's been having a bit of a problem with her mouth and attitude. I can pin it to her being a growing girl transitioning into adolescence. Other things require redirection, discipline, and consistency. I reached out to her father in an attempt to established some sort of structure... Or like chain of command type of deal to where (even if he has no use for it) if a situation arose where it was necessary to implement then it would be very effective. I want her to expect the same discipline whether she's with me or him. It was basically that I simply wanted to be on the same page. His answer to me was that I let her get away with too much and he never has this problem.

Now there's only so much gaslighting that I can take. So I feel forced (in order to preserve my peace) to give up reaching out in an attempt to co-parent. I care about my daughter's need for consistency, but it's seeming to be an impossible feat when it comes to her daddy.... To know that you don't have the support of someone who is to be there to help physically and financially raise the kid(s) you have together makes everything so hard! It is exhausting!